Identity
Identity
On the 13th of January 2013 Rhonel’s daughter, Juneldè, drowned at the age of three years old, after 40 minutes of no heartbeat or any sign of life she was successfully resuscitated and as a result, Juneldè sustained a profound brain injury. Rhonel and her family had to learn to live a vastly different life than the one they had known before.This entailed a complete rewrite of identity as a mother of a child with complex medical needs.
Nurses helped look after Juneldè 24/7 and various hospitalizations and operations followed. The family settled in and grew familiar with this new normal. It was a story of hope with Juneldè at the core of every decision and direction Rhonel took.
On the 16th of October 2023 Juneldè suddenly and unexpectedly passed away in her sleep. Again, Rhonel had to find a new normal and settle into an unexpected reality. This time it shook the core of Rhonel’s identity leaving a deep void and the question of “Who am I”? This quest led to the Identity Program at ReBOOT as Rhonel realized many people struggle with the same question and that there is a need to reestablish own self due to life’s traumas and challenges and restore identity.
Beyond the Likes: Discovering Your True Identity
Building a Strong Sense of Self in a Digital World The digital landscape profoundly influences how young people form their identity, self-esteem, and relationships.
When we talk about addiction, we often focus on the behaviour itself. But what if we told you there’s a deeper, more fundamental issue often at play? It’s about who we believe we are – our identity.
Unveiling Your True Self: The Profound Importance of Identity Restoration
When we discuss challenges like addiction, focusing solely on the problematic behaviour often misses a crucial point: at its core, addiction is frequently a symptom of a wounded identity. It’s about a damaged sense of self that underlies deeper struggles with forming healthy connections and fulfilling fundamental needs.
Experts like Dr. Patrick Carnes highlight that a significant majority of individuals struggling with compulsive behaviours often come from environments where emotional connection was absent, and family members wrestled with their own identities. Such experiences can make it incredibly difficult for anyone to form secure attachments and truly get their emotional needs met.
The Unmet Longing: Why We Seek Counterfeits
It’s vital to understand that all compulsive and addictive behaviours often stem from significant emotional disconnections and an inability to fulfill deeply human needs in healthy, authentic ways. When a person genuinely lacks attention, affection, and affirmation, they will instinctively seek alternative means to fill that profound void. This is especially true when our sense of self isn’t firmly anchored in our inherent worth, our created design and core values.
Our natural inclination is to crave recognition, belonging, and purpose, and sometimes, these powerful desires can inadvertently lead us down paths that are ultimately harmful.
Consider pornography as one example. It can serve as a potent counterfeit for genuine connection and intimacy. Yet, for those deeply hungry for validation, even the temporary relief it provides might seem preferable to the raw pain of unmet needs. So, what truly drives someone back to harmful behaviours, even when they know the devastating consequences? For many, the powerful compulsion to soothe their unmet needs simply overrides their ability to reason logically or prioritize long-term well-being.
The Seven Wounds of Self: Understanding Our Core Beliefs
Author Dr. Bob Schuchts, in his work “Be Transformed,” identifies seven fundamental identity wounds that often fuel these patterns of disconnection and contribute to addictive behaviours. Each wound is associated with a core belief or perception that can keep us stuck:
- 1. Rejection – “I am unacceptable as I am.”
- 2. Abandonment – “I will always be alone.”
- 3. Confusion – “I don’t understand, but I need to figure it out on my own.”
- 4. Fear – “If I trust someone, I will be hurt or die.”
- 5. Shame – “I am unworthy or don’t deserve to be loved.”
- 6. Hopelessness – “Things are never going to get better.”
- 7. Powerlessness – “I feel overwhelmed and stuck.”
These identity wounds directly attack our fundamental sense of self and innate worth. Experiences like abuse alone are powerful enough to deeply damage this essential perception. A wounded inner self and a fragile identity are often at the root of any addiction.
While academic insights offer valuable support, the complexities of identity are often deeply personal. Many people may not even realize they’re grappling with an identity challenge. This lack of awareness can sometimes stem from the pervasive influences or internal narratives that obscure our true understanding of ourselves. This is why Rhonel’s personal testimony can be so incredibly vital – there’s no substitute for firsthand experience.
Identity: An Enduring Human Quest
The quest for identity is far from a modern problem driven solely by social media or cultural norms. In fact, it has been a fundamental human issue since the very beginning of our existence. From our earliest origins, humanity has grappled with an inherent sense of worth and a natural inclination towards wholeness. We are born with innate value and a capacity for deep connection.
However, throughout human history, external influences, societal pressures, and our own inner doubts have worked tirelessly to make us question our identity. These forces can’t erase our inherent worth, but they can sow enough seeds of self-doubt and insecurity that we may struggle to fully realize our potential and live authentically.
Think about common patterns of self-deception that undermine our well-being:
- “You will face no negative consequences.” This is the temptation to ignore inherent boundaries, believing false promises of invincibility.
- “You will gain ultimate awareness.” This is the allure of a false liberation or understanding that, ironically, often leads to deeper fear and shame, rather than true insight.
- “You will be entirely self-sufficient.” This is the pursuit of absolute independence and control that can lead to isolation, a forfeiture of genuine connection, and a turning away from our own deeper wisdom.
These patterns reflect a fundamental turning away from our own well-being, our created design and authentic nature.
The Path to Wholeness: Healing Our Core Self
Our identity is intricately linked to our deepest sense of purpose and belonging. When we try to fill the void of a deficient identity by seeking external validation or engaging in independent, unhealthy coping mechanisms, we often turn to addictions. We crave satisfaction for what we mistakenly perceive as purely physical desires, unaware that it’s our deeper human needs for meaning, connection, and belonging that truly yearn for fulfillment.
The profound truth is that our greatest transformations often occur when we courageously address these deep-seated identity struggles. Our unique backgrounds, personal experiences, and even our perceived weaknesses can become powerful catalysts for growth and purpose. Rather than being hindered by our afflictions, we can recognize them as profound opportunities for personal transformation, leading us to rediscover our inherent worth and live with true purpose and confidence.
identity
identity programme
A month-long coaching program to help you rediscover your true self.
#Identity refers to a situation where someone questions their identity, worth or individuality due to circumstances. This leads to a loss of self-worth, recognition or a sense of wholeness. This identity confusion affects every aspect of a person’s personal, interpersonal and professional capacity.
It does not matter whether this is caused by trauma, loss or changing seasons in people’s lives, the lifestyle program is suitable to address any of these. ReBOOT TechBalance and Wellness Institute’s experts would like to journey with you through a month-long focused lifestyle coaching program to join hands in rediscovering your identity and the search for your true self.
Intro: Harmony Session | Time — 15-20 mins
In this session you will meet your coach and partner in your journey to identity. The Harmony session takes place through Microsoft Teams, after which the remaining sessions take place either with Teams or in-person in Centurion.
identity — who am i?
Rhonel van Loggerenberg || Time: 1 hour – session 1
In this session we look in depth at why you want to undertake this program. We explore your story and reality, and you walk away with powerful resources to explore and capture a new identity.
Where do I come from?
Rhonel van Loggerenberg || Time: 1 hour – session 2
This session gives us the opportunity to look at where you come from and how it forms part of your identity. We explore important guidelines for letting go of what no longer serves you on your journey.
Where am I going?
Rhonel van Loggerenberg || Time: 1 hour – session 3
Now we look ahead to the vision and goal you set for yourself and explore all the ways to achieve it.
Reflection and Empowerment Session
Rhonel van Loggerenberg || Time: 1 hour – session 4
The hard work has been done, and the future picture is clear. But it is still necessary for important consolidation and empowerment to take place so that you know clearly where you are headed.
extended services
beyond our sessions
A5 Tan leather journal
The programme includes a beautiful A5 tan leather journal, which can be personalised (personalisation is charged at an additional fee). This includes colors as well as your name and special verse/word that can be added to the journal.
vision board
it's learning time
shop our stationery pack
From sleek leather journals to creative workbooks for kids and teens. Stationery for every stage.
R300
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